"She shouldn't be wearing that!"

Blaming ordinary people for living average lives in an economic downturn prevents changing minds about policy

Yesterday, Mr. Sour Patch and I took a break from work to make a special trip to the store and get out of the house. Mr. Patch wanted one thing, and one thing only: Code Red Mountain Dew. It’s one of his relatively rare treats, and I certainly won’t begrudge him a treat; I just don’t drink any, myself. Maybe that’s why he likes them!

As the box skimmed the bar code reader and the self-check register announced the price, I was floored - this mundane box of sugary water was TEN DOLLARS. For reference, I recall (a year or two ago) when a 12-pack of anything (sparkling water, V8, etc) went for about $4-6. I was stunned. On the way home, I was definitely spitting some fire in the car. “It seems unfair that we finally have our acts together, we both have good, productive jobs we’re grateful for, and the economy looks like…this,” I said. “I cannot imagine how people who make $50k a year feel right now.” Because I remember what it’s like to be poor.

I left home when I was 18, started working immediately, and worked my way up to earning a glorious sum of $17,000 a year. I moved home with my parents, to save on rent. I bought nothing, mooching off my parents’ eggs, coffee, and leftovers. I drove a garbage car. I vividly recall spending my 20s dirt-floor poor and with no social life, thinking about whether I would ever achieve my conservative American dream. Now, I think, this dream is further from people my age and younger than it ever has been before, and my heart goes out to them. In this economy, we have the perfect basis to argue for conservative fiscal policies and focus on life at home in the US. Inflation affects everyone, no matter how much they make. I like the idea of reaching out to the ordinary, everyday person whose eyes are bugging out in the soda aisle to discuss what put us in this predicament.

But it seems that many on the right do not share my memory of being broke or my view that the Boomer American dream is increasingly ephemeral in a very real way that people are not responsible for. I will give an example video I came across today on Twitter.

Finance L’s @TerribleFinance

$120,000 combined household income and can barely afford groceries…

This woman is incredibly frustrated because she’s been trying to live her life as her parents lived theirs. She hasn’t done anything especially unusual for a woman her age. She probably bought a car with a loan and spends money on her hair, nails, jewelry, etc. These are things boomers could easily do on much smaller salaries 30-40 years ago, things that millennials did without much trouble up until just a few years ago. Everyone did it, for better or for worse (I know Americans could certainly do better with financial education and responsibility - trust me).

Unfortunately, the majority of comments on this video are deriding her for her assumed lifestyle. “You need a budget!” “How irresponsible.” “Well, that’s what you get for driving an expensive car!”

I recognize that this woman probably does need a budget; God knows most of us do. But I can’t help feeling that the derisive, mocking, disparaging comments are missing the point (someone is struggling financially, and raising very real concerns about inflation affecting groceries) and missing an opportunity - the chance to practice compassion…and then remind her how much more affordable life was under conservative leadership.

Because at the end of the day, who do her money habits affect? They affect her, and her partner. Not Twitter commenters. Not the American right-wing movement. It’s no one’s business but her own; her ostensible lackluster budgeting is only causing her a headache, and her spending habits are completely independent of her observation about inflation, which is just as valid as anyone else’s.

I was a little surprised by the comments on this video. The right wing usually correctly assigns the blame for economic woes to the left, but that anger toward the government vanishes when the person in front of them looks like they might make bad financial decisions. Admittedly, people in the comments did jump to the assumption that this woman voted for Joe Biden - a claim none of them can back up based on this video. I suspect a fixation on responsibility as the way to solve all the world’s problems, a “pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps” Boomer mentality, and a pervasive sense of smug superiority may be coloring our dialog here: We aren’t “better” than someone else because we put our green pieces of paper in a different envelope than they do. We are all struggling more than we were three years ago, at the end of the day, and it’s because of left-wing policies, period. Do lacking budgets exacerbate that? Sure! But it is not entirely this woman’s fault that she’s having a hard time buying groceries right now, especially if this is a new phenomenon. A new difficulty buying groceries says that the economy is likely the factor that has changed, not her spending habits, and that opens the door to telling her the good news about conservative fiscal policy. I’m willing to bet that a sufficiently sympathetic, knowledgeable person could easily change who she votes for by talking to her when she’s upset about the skyrocketing cost of living.

But for the Twitter-mob right, it seems like it’s more important to dunk. Let me tell you, it’s not more important to “win” if it means the person you’re dunking on will be hurt, embarrassed, and angered by your response. Judgmental comments like, “You make plenty of money, look at you spending money on ordinary things like hair and nails! Stop complaining and budget! It’s not that bad!” will just make her defensive and she will never be forced to consider that if she voted for left-wing policies, this is the natural outcome of that choice. Besides, things really have gotten tangibly more expensive. She’s not crazy for noticing it.

We miss a golden opportunity by being judgmental when people complain about the economy. The left deftly picks up on and uses emotion, especially negative emotion, to their own political ends, and we could, too, if we could just stop judging people, show some empathy, and tell them that yes, it is hard, but conservative policies can help. Just look at the span of 2016-2020 - those numbers did not lie.

Instead, we’re on social media, trying to dunk on the (assumed) libs and pretend we’re better than they are because we budget better, as if inflation doesn’t STILL affect every one of us, budget or not. The mocking stereotype of a ‘compassionate conservative’ unfortunately appears to be true, but we can beat the stereotype.